Best German Car Company?

Lowbrow Answer: Volkswagen
Who the hell is naming these things? The Jetta? The Rabbit? The Touareg? All of Volkswagen's cars sound like characters from some sort of freaky Japanese Animé. And come on. The Golf? You're naming a car after a sport? What's next, the Ford Ice Hockey? The Toyota Rhythmic Gymnasatics?

"Volkswagon" basically translates to "The People's Car" in English, which means that VW is, by definition, lowbrow. They've basically named their company after the proletariat. Nice work, marketing department.


Middlebrow Answer: BMW
These cars a pretty slick. They run well, they drive fast, and they look nice. That being said, they seem to have a pretty high concentration of assholes behind their wheels. And not the elite, handsome, smarter than you assholes; the dumb, shave their chesthair, wear too much hair gel assholes.

Bavarian Motor Works started off making airplane engines, which is where their logo comes from. A white propeller against a blue sky. Of course, they built war planes for the Third Reich and only switched to cars when the Allies told them they had to stop making bombers. Nazi pricks.


Highbrow Answer: DaimlerChrysler
These are the guys behind Mercedes Benz and Smart, among a host of other brands. So, basically, they're building the classiest cars in the country as well as the most innovative. Nice work, guys.

What impresses me most about this company is that it also builds amazing trucks. Like, big freight-carrying ones. So in the same day, they spit out the best luxury sedans and the best 18-wheelers. THAT'S versatility. It's like Davinci or P. Diddy: anything they touch turns to gold.