Best Band that Goes by an Acronym?

Lowbrow Answer: BTO
As if Canada weren't already lowbrow enough by calling its dollar the "Loonie," they're also home to BTO. Or as I like to call them, "Please turn this shit off, it's hurting my ears." This is one of those crappy "classic rock" bands that your dad likes because it reminds him of that time when he was younger and his penis still worked.

Their biggest hits are "Taking Care of Business" and "You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet." Really? Those are your hits? Are you just writing music specifically to be used in Toyota commercials? And what's with all the stuttering? "B-b-baby you j-j-just ain't seen n-n-nothing yet?" B-b-blow M-m-me.


Middlebrow Answer: REM
You can't really dispute their impact on alternative music. Without them, you don't get Nirvana, Radiohead, Pearl Jam, or Coldplay. Okay, so we could do without that last one, but still. You get the point.

Then again, I feel like Michael Stipe writes his lyrics by just stringing together various words he hears at ninth grade poetry slams: "My heart is a heart and big clouds rain down water in the rainfall waters glow like sunny skies in my eyes and my love for you is a badger." Come on, Stipe. There's gotta be something better than that in that shiny dome of yours.


Highbrow Answer: KMFDM
Ever heard of these guys? Probably not if you don't like early German industrial music. This band is so highbrow that they were formed in 1984 to provide live music for a piece of weird German performance art which is, in and of itself, highbrow. The letters stand for "Kein Mehrheit Für Die Mitleid", which loosely translates to "no mercy for the masses". Marx would be jerking off to these guys if he were still alive today.

KMFDM has been demonized in the media for supposedly contributing to not one, not two, but three separate school shootings, including Columbine. In each case, the shooters listed KMFDM as a favorite band. And while school shootings are tragic and shitty, if people are trying to blame them on your band, then you're probably saying some shit that nobody wants to hear. Kinda like Martin Luther and the Catholic Church. Hiiiiiighbrow.