Best Judd Apatow Film?

Lowbrow Answer: Knocked Up
See, the point of romantic comedies is that you're supposed to like the main characters. I shouldn't be spending the entire film wanting to ram a Mongolian Horse into the anus of the lead actress. Can somebody just shoot Katherine Heigl already? Aryan bitch. Her continued existence is a mockery of modern cinema, just like the Transformers movies or the Wayans Brothers.

And I'm sorry, but this isn't the 1500's. You don't have to keep a baby that you don't want. You get pregnant by some dumbass with a Jew-fro, you abort that shit. Grab a rusty coat-hanger and pull it right out of there. If for no other reason than the kid is going to grow up to look like Seth Rogen. And nobody wants that.


Middlebrow Answer: Funny People
Involves death or cancer in some way: +1 point
Involves dramatic comedy or comedic drama in some way: -1 point
Involves semi-coherent conversations about existentialism: +1 point
Involves poorly-written jokes about boobs and penises: -1 point
Involves Eric Bana: +2 points
Involves Seth Rogen: -2 points
Involves watching rugby: +1 point
Involves watching Adam Sandler: -1 point

Well. Look at that. Dead even.


Highbrow Answer: There isn't one
Here's the thing. Using rambling and incoherent dialogue may make your film sound more "believable" and "realistic," but it also makes your characters look... Oh, I dunno, rambling and incoherent. Yes, your dialogue sounds real. I get it, the characters talk over each other and say "Umm" and "Ahh." But I didn't come to the movies to get closer to idiot, sex-crazed teenagers; I came to the movies to get farther away from them. Well, that and to see the previews. God, I love previews.

The biggest problem with Apatow, however, is that all of his films are the fucking same. It's just one big annoying formula:

(Dopey, Love-lorn guy + Out-of-his-league girl) X (Bathroom humor + Sexy hi-jinks) / Seth Rogen = Judd Apatow Empire

Blow me, Seth Rogen. You being untalented and "average guy" doesn't make you endearing; it just makes you untalented and average.