Favorite Scandinavian Country?

Lowbrow Answer: Sweden
Sweden is like "Donnie Darko" or "Mullholland Drive:" Everyone tells you it's amazing, but nobody can give you a concrete reason why.

And have you ever been to IKEA? Sure, the cutlery is chrome and the furniture has weird names like "Blagendorf" or "Spelunkson," but the aisles are teeming with unkempt masses and the store sells hot dogs for fifty cents. Hot Dogs for fifty cents is decidedly lowbrow. ANYTHING for fifty cents, in fact, is decidedly lowbrow.


Middlebrow Answer: Iceland
Upside: Bjork and Sigur Ros live here.
Downside: The country is so poor that it's sinking back into the Ocean.

And yeah, I get it. "Iceland is green and Greenland is ice." Clever.


Highbrow Answer: Norway
I have one (strange) word for you: Svalbard. It's a large island up in the Artic Circle that is a sovereign territory of Norway and it's the most magical place on earth. A few fun facts: Getting citizenship requires only that you can support yourself. It has the northern-most occupied city in the world. The largest cause of death on the island is polar bears.

What? You're wondering what a polar bear from Svalbard looks like? Just rent "The Golden Compass" and look for the massive, white bears. They'll be the big white things wearing war armor and kicking ass.