Thursday, August 27, 2009

Best Logo for a Champions League Soccer Team?

Lowbrow Answer: FC Sheriff (Moldova)
Let me get this straight. Your club is called "FC Sheriff," so you put a big, gold Sheriff's star in your logo? That's the best you could do? How do you even know what a sheriff is? Isn't the primary language in your country Romanian? Did you name your team from watching old re-runs of Bonanza on the one American station you get?

You have to consider the implications of a team being called Sheriff. Think about every movie you've seen that has a "sheriff" in it. In every single of them, he's lame. He's usually some old, white-haired jackass with a big hat and ugly boots. I'd rather call my team "FC Villain" or "FC Bad Guy Who Shoots Everyone."


Middlebrow Answer: Olympique de Marseille (France)
Yes, the big "M" looks like a McDonald's logo from the future. But the single star is classy. And so is the fact that there aren't any pictures here. I hate it when soccer teams draw little images in their crests. It's like Arsenal with their stupid cannon. Yes, guys, we get it. Your team shares its name with a munitions armament. Clever. Dumbasses.

You have to appreciate the slogan here. "Droit Au But" roughly translates to "Right to goal." That shit is money. This team isn't screwing around. I think more things should have slogans like that:

Burger King - "Right to your arteries."
The Catholic Church - "Right to your wallets."
Ron Jeremy - "Right to my balls."


Highbrow Answer: EB/Streymur (Faroe Islands)
It takes guts to design your club's logo so that it looks like an infinity symbol. Especially if you're a Podunk club from the Faroe Islands whose players probably all have day jobs at the local Starbucks. "Hey Boss, I need the Saturday shift off, we're playing against Real Madrid and I should probably be there."

Look at this logo. There are no numbers, no names, no hokey stars for all the times they've won a championship. Just infinity. Baddass. I think the team should change its name to "The Club Who Shall Not Be Named." That would probably inspire greater terror in its opposition than "AB/Streymur," which sounds like some kind of blood disease.

1 comment:

  1. OM's single star IS classy, but they would add another one in a second if they had cause - they added it after winning the Champions League in 1993.

    ReplyDelete