Best Weezer Album?

Lowbrow Answer: Any Album besides The Blue Album or Pinkerton
What the hell happened to this band? Did somebody give them all a lobotomy? They used to be so rad, but now they just sing nonsense songs with simple chord patterns about cities in California or vacationing on an island. They're basically human versions of muppets. Except that a lot of the muppets have talent.

My favorite part of recent Weezer is the fact that all the guitar solos in their songs are just instrumental versions of the melody. Creative, guys. You should cut the bullshit and just change all your lyrics to "La." Then you wouldn't have to worry about making any sense, and your legions of teenage followers would already know the words to your songs as soon as you released an album. Nice!


Middlebrow Answer: The Blue Album
This shit defined a generation. It made being a nerd cool, which is good because there are a hell of a lot of nerds out there. Not me, of course, but other people. Like you. Anyway, tunes like "Buddy Holly," "Say it Ain't So," and "Undone (The Sweater Song)," were playful and catchy breaks from the tired grunge movement. The Blue Album is like a musical oasis in the desert of Kurt Cobain rip-offs. An oasis with thick, black glasses and posters of Kitty Pryde on the wall.

I will admit, however, that some of the lyrics here are a bit juvenile for my taste. Talking about surfing to work is all well and good if you're The Beach Boys, but not if you're a weird, introverted geek from Connecticut. Rivers Cuomo on a surfboard is like a baby with an uzi: something bad is going to happen.


Highbrow Answer: Pinkerton
This is the money shot. Pinkerton is the mature, adult version of The Blue Album. The songs are strong, the lyrics are wicked, and the themes are highbrow. The whole thing, including the name of the record itself, is based on Puccini's opera, Madame Butterfly. High. Brow. Basing stuff on operas instantly gains you elitist points. Maybe I'd starting following professional football if they had some operatic influence: "Tonight! On Monday Night Football! The Orlando Daughters of the Regiment vs. The Washington Magic Flutes!"

What makes this album truly highbrow is all the album packaging. The cover is a famous Japanese print called Kambara yoru no yuki ("Night Snow at Kambara"). The edge of the CD features lyrics from Puccini's opera. The CD tray is a map with the title "Isola Della Farfalla e Penisola Di Cane." which is Italian for "Island of the Butterfly and Peninsula of Dog." The highbrow elite know that presentation is half the battle. If my penis were packaged half as well as Pinkerton is, I bet it'd get used a lot more often.