Best Thing to Take to a Rock Concert?

Lowbrow Answer: A Camera
I have an idea. Let's go to a concert and spend the whole time taking grainy, out-of-focus pictures of the band from 400 yards away. We can also shoot some shitty lo-fi video on your iPhone. Then we can post it all on Facebook and prove to our friends that we were there. Because I'm sure they didn't believe us when we said, "We're going to a concert tonight" and showed them the tickets.

Is everyone at rock shows besides me an idiot? You want pictures of the band, go online. I guarantee you they're better than whatever shitty photos you take. You want video, buy a DVD. You'll see more angles and hear more sound, I promise. What the fuck is the point of going to a concert if you aren't going to focus on enjoying yourself? Taking a camera to a rock show is like hiking Mount Everest and spending the whole trip reading "Into Thin Air." What are you doing?


Middlebrow Answer: An old t-shirt of the band you're seeing
People complain about this one, but it's not as bad as you think. You'd wear a Patriots jersey to a football game, why not rock a t-shirt of the band you're seeing? Plus it's pretty awesome if you have some old stuff. I saw Marilyn Manson last night and one dude rocked a t-shirt from 1992 and it was cool. The dude was lame, but I have to admit that his t-shirt was old school and awesome.

Then again, this is as bad as you think. You bought tickets to the show. Of course you like the band. Do you really have to wear a t-shirt to prove it? That's like writing "I like sex" on your chest in magic marker before you get into bed with your girlfriend. I'm sure Marilyn Manson knows you're a fan when he spits on you from the stage and you rub it all over your face; you don't need to be wearing a t-shirt as extra proof.

Like Marilyn Manson? There's more of him here.


Highbrow Answer: Nothing
Remember when people used to go to concerts to actually see the band? Like, to focus on the music and get a chance to see their favorite musicians live? When they were more concerned with enjoying the show than with proving to their friends that they were there? Yeah, I don't really remember that time either. Must have been before I was born, because every show I've ever been to has been crammed full of idiot teenagers endless snapping camera-phone pictures and updating their twitter accounts after every song. Kill me.

It seems to me that in the last ten years or so, people have become more interested in recording an event than actually experiencing it. You go on vacation to the Grand Canyon and spend the whole time taking pictures of it. You go to a soccer game and spend the whole match updating your status on facebook. Just enjoy it yourself. Be selfish. You paid for the tickets, so watch the game. You're at the Grand Canyon, you dumb motherfucker. It's one of the most amazing places on EARTH. How about you actually SEE IT.