Lowbrow Answer: "America's Favorite Moment" (1937)Really? A Coke is America's favorite moment? I'm not so sure about that. I feel like on the list of an average American's "Favorite Moments," having a Coke is on page six, just above "giving the lint from my belly-button to somebody I love."
The best part about this slogan is that is came out during The Great Depression. A time during which Americans could barely afford a jug of milk for their kids, let alone a cold, refreshing bottle of Coke. Calling it "America's Favorite Moment" is like calling Polo "America's pastime." Idiots.
Middlebrow Answer: "Around the Corner from Anywhere" (1927)Is it me, or does this sound like the name of a Hootie & The Blowfish album? This is the sort of vague attempt at semi-poetry that you hear from seventh grade English students or bad college songwriters. Coke should have sold his phrase to John Mayer. I bet he's really mad that he didn't think of it first.
I do like that if you take this slogan literally, there's Coke everywhere! Stuck at work? Don't worry! There's Coke around the corner! Robbing a bank? Have a Coke on your way out! Raping a sheep behind your neighbor's barn? Grab a cold Coke! Thanks, Coke! You're always there when I need you!
Highbrow Answer: "The Great National Temperance Beverage" (1906)"Temperance" is defined as "moderation and self-restraint, as in behavior or expression." Remember the good old days when commercial products actually promoted moderation and restraint? Nowadays, it wouldn't surprise me to see an from Toyota telling me to drive drunk because that way I have a higher chance of destroying my Toyota and needing to buy another one. "The Toyota Prius: It's more fun when you're fucked up."
I'm not even sure what this really means. I feel like they could be talking about some kind of Holy water or something. The whole thing just sounds epic. I think I'm going to start calling my bed, "The Great National Temperance Sanctuary." Then maybe I'll finally get some women in there.
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